Janaki Jaane

During my college days (1986 - 90), I had a friend named Dr. Hariharan, who had just then returned after completing his BAMS degree, an ayurvedic medical course from Kerala.

His family was originally from Palakkad, the border town between Tamil Nadu and Kerala. The people from the area spoke Tamil with an heavy accent of Malayalam and Malayalam with an equally heavy accent of Tamil, leading at times to a heady confusion to listeners as to what language they are being conversed with. Hari, was no different and as one could witness, the best of both these intertwined cultures, existed amicably in their lifestyle.

We shared a lot of common interests - music, poetry, photography and aspired to explore the possibilities of being a creator in all these, all the time. He used to share with me the best songs of Malayalam films - KJ Yesudoss, MG Srikumar, Hariharan (then a budding Ghazal singer - not into the films) and I introduced him to the nuances of Ilaiyaraja's mesmerising compositions.

It is during this period, I once came across a bajan-like film song on Lord Rama, rendered by K J Yesudoss with the opening line, 'Janaki Jaane'. Luckily that day, now I could recall, there were none in his house, where we were chatting one evening discussing music and it is in his good audio system that this casette was playing.

The setting was perfect; it was a pleasant sunset, cool breeze winding through the well-lit spacious living room and the song was mellifluously oozing and pervading the room.

Engrossed in our discussions, I was slowly taken over by the reverberating voice of Yesudoss. The voice! It occupied my mind and before the song could enter the stanzas or charanam, as it is called, and reach its crescendo, I was totally taken aback by the beauty of the composition and the selfless spiritual rendering of Yesudoss.

I am not sure whether the entire intricacy and beauty of the song sank into me then, but I am equally convinced that the song remained etched in my memories, stayed dormant for more than decades and surfaced when it had to.

Yesterday, as I was searching for a famous long forgotten old number of K J Yesudoss, I suddenly remembered this Rama bhajan, searched and found it in Youtube. As I played and started to listen for the first time after almost 22 years, I lost my entire spatial interaction and was taken into the soul of the song almost immediately.

Tears kept rolling all through the song and neither could I open my eyes.
Yesudoss' mastery and perfection in rendition can never be questioned. His quivering voice and his utter surrender and devotion to Lord Rama is expressed in unparalleled fashion in Janaki Jane. Without an absolute and unquestioned surrender to the Lord Supreme, whichever religion it may be, creativity of that sort from an accomplised, highly self-esteemed creator is impossible, I felt and believed.

It was as though I could vividly remember all the verses, instantaneously transporting me into a realm of nostaligic quagmire.

I remained silent for few minutes after the song ended and kept listening to it a number of times as if I was afraid that I might lose it back for decades...

When the logical and argumentative part of my senses regained, I searched and found that it was song from film called, "Dhavani" (Tone), a Malayalam film. Interestingly, the hindu devotional song on Lord Rama in Sanskrit, was penned by Yusuf Ali Kecheri, a Muslim lyricist and the music was composed by the legendary film composer, Noushad, a Muslim too! K J Yesudoss, a Chrisitian by birth, had transformed his soul into this evergreen bhajan! What a combination!

Is he not the Gaana Ghandarvan!

Now, dissolve into this endless ocean of devotion as Jesudoss navigates one through his voice...

"Janaki Jaane"

"காமக் கனலிற் கருகுஞ் சருகு"

பட்டினத்தார் அருளிய திருப்பாடல் திரட்டு
15 பாடல்களின் மொழியாக்கம்
 
கட்டியணைத்திடும் பெண்டிரு மக்களுங் காலத்தச்சன்
வெட்டிமுறிக்கு மரம்போற் சரீரத்தை வீழ்த்திவிட்டாற்
கொட்டிமுழக்கி யழுவார்; மயானங் குறுகியப்பால்
எட்டி யடிவைப்ப ரோ? யிறைவா ! கச்சியேகம்பனே.

Will these women and children
Who embrace and shower their love,
Who cry with such passion
As time closes in on,
When this body
Lays as a dead tree would,
Go along
Beyond the final ground?

நல்லா ரிணக்கமும், நின்பூசை நேசமும், ஞானமுமே
அல்லாது வேறு நிலையுளதோ? அகமும், பொருளும்
இல்லாளும் சுற்றமும் மைந்தரும் வாழ்வும் எழிலுடம்பும்
எல்லாம் வெளிமயக்கே இறைவா, கச்சியேகம்பனே !

Which is wise -
Other than being with the righteous,
Pray and love thee
And continue the quest for wisdom?
All that acquired -
Self, wealth, wife and relatives
Children, life and this beautiful body –
Are not they mere illusions!

பொல்லாதவன், நெறி நில்லாதவன், ஐம்புலன்கள்தமை
வெல்லாதவன், கல்வி கல்லாதவன், மெய்யடியவர்பால்
செல்லாதவன், உண்மை சொல்லாதவன், நின்திருவடிக்கன்பு
இல்லாதவன், மண்ணிலேன்பிறந்தேன் ! கச்சியேகம்பனே !

Why was I born -
Leading unrighteous life,
Uncontrolled and illiterate
Not being with learned
A liar and
Who had not
Surrendered his love at thy feet

பிறக்கும்பொழுது கொடுவந்த தில்லை, பிறந்து மண்மேல்
இறக்கும்பொழுது கொடுபோவ தில்லை; இடைநடுவில்
குறிக்குமிச் செல்வஞ் சிவன் தந்ததென்று கொடுக்கறியாது
இறக்குங் குலாமருக் கென்சொல்லுவேன் ? கச்சியேகம்பனே !

How would I muse
For those
Who guard their wealth
Not sharing and unrealizing
That what had been given unto them
Was only given by thee
And was not with them when born
And surely will not leave as they die

கல்லாப் பிழையும், கருதாப் பிழையும், கசிந்துருகி
நில்லாப் பிழையு நினையாப் பிழையும், நின்னஞ்செழுத்தைச்
சொல்லாப் பிழையுந், துதியாப் பிழையுந், தொழாப் பிழையும்
எல்லாப் பிழையும் பொறுத்தருள்வாய் கச்சியேகம்பனே.

Forgive me
For being an illiterate to thy scriptures
For being mindless not realizing thy love
For being impassionate unmoved by thy love
For not being righteous and not living in path leading unto you
And for not praying and worshipping thee

ஊருஞ் சதமல்ல, உற்றார் சதமல்ல, உற்றுப்பெற்ற
பேருஞ் சதமல்ல, பெண்டீர் சதமல்ல, பிள்ளைகளும்
சீருஞ் சதமல்ல, செல்வஞ் சதமல்ல, தேசத்திலே
யாருஞ் சதமல்ல, நின்தாள் சதங்கச்சி யேகம்பனே.

Transient are
This world and goodwill;
Relatives and women;
Children and glories earned;
Wealth and all those
Who are in this world;
It is thy feet,
Which is my permanent abode!

சொல்லால் வருங்குற்றஞ் சிந்தனையால் வருந்தோடஞ்செய்த
பொல்லாத தீவினை பார்வையிற் பாவங்கள் புண்ணியநூல்
அல்லாத கேள்வியைக் கேட்டிடுந் தீங்குகள் ஆயவுமற்று
எல்லாப் பிழையும் பொறுத்தருள் வாய் கச்சியேகம்பனே,

Forgive me my sins
The unkind words I utter
Deeds I commit from sinned thoughts
Sinning even with my vision
Paying heed and holding to
Unrighteous words

பிறந்துமண்மீதிற் பிணியே குடிகொண்டு பேரின்பத்தை
மறந்து சிற்றின்பத்தின் மேல்மயலாகிப் புன்மாதருக்குள்
பறந்துழன்றே தடுமாறிப்பொன் தேடியப் பாவையர்க்கீந்து
இறந்திடவோ பணித்தாய் இறைவா, கச்சியேகம்பனே.

What have you destined me for -
Is it to be born into this world
Suffer with countless debilitations
To forget thee and
Fall at the feet of women
Toil tirelessly earning
Wealth to be given unto them
And die an unrepenting death?

கொன்றேன் அனேகமுயிரை எலாம்பின்பு கொன்றுகொன்று
தின்றே அதன்றியும் தீங்குசெய்தேன் அதுதீர்கவென்றே
நின்றேன் நின்சன்னிதிக்கே அதனால் குற்றம்நீபொறுப்பாய்
என்றே யுனைநம்பினேன் இறைவா, கச்சியேகம்பனே.

I stand thus at your sanctum
Praying thy pardon
I have killed, and killed a many
Ate what I killed
Committed sins which are countless
All that had ceased
As I bow at your lotus feet

அன்னை எத்தனை எத்தனை அன்னையோ?
அப்பன் எத்தனை எத்தனை அப்பனோ?
பின்னை எத்தனை எத்தனை பெண்டீரோ?
பிள்ளை எத்தனை எத்தனை பிள்ளையோ?
முன்னை எத்தனை எத்தனை சன்மமோ?
மூடனாயடி யேனும றிந்திலேன்,
இன்ன மெத்தனை யெத்தனை சன்மமோ?
என்செய் வேன்? கச்சியேகம்ப நாதனே?

How many mothers have I had?
How many fathers could I have had?
Countless women I might have had
Countless children did I father
How may births I have had in the past
As a foolish dog, I never, never would know
How many births I am to have henceforth
What will I do, oh my Lord!

கொல்லாமற் கொன்றதைத் தின்னாமற் குத்திரங்கோள்கள்
கல்லாமற் கைதவரோ டிணங்காமற் கனவினும்பொய்
சொல்லாமற் சொற்களைக் கேளாமற் றோகையர்மாயையிலே
செல்லாமற் செல்வந் தருவாய், சிதம்பர தேசிகனே.

Bless me the wealth, the wealth of knowledge
Which guides me not to kill
Not to eat what has been killed
Not to learn what not to be learnt
Not to be with sinners
Not to lie ever
To be of my own
And not to fall prey in lust

முடிசார்ந்த மன்னரு மற்றமுள்ளோரு முடிவிலொரு
பிடிசாம்ப ராய்வெந்து மண்ணாவதுங் கண்டுபின்னுமிந்தப்
பிடிசார்ந்த வாழ்வை நினைப்பதல் லாற்பொன்னினம்பலவ
ரடிசார்ந்து நாமுய்ய வேண்டுமென்றே யறிவாரில்லையே.

When would it dawn on them,
For those having witnessed
The countless who had ruled the earth
And all who have lived before us
All ending in handful of ashes,
That they should disavow materialistic life
And hold thy golden feet
To end this cycle of births and deaths

பிறந்தன இறக்கும், இறந்தன பிறக்கும்;
தோன்றின மறையும், மறைந்தன தோன்றும்;
பெருத்தன சிறுக்கும், சிறுத்தன பெருக்கும்;
உணர்ந்தன மறக்கும், மறந்தன வுணரும்;
புணர்ந்தன பிரியும், பிரிந்தன புணரும்; 10

Whatever had born, will die; whichever had died, will be born
Whatever had appeared will vanish; whatever had vanished will appear
Whatever had grown, will diminish; whatever had diminished will bloom
Whatever had been felt will be forgotten; whatever had been forgotten will be remembered
Whatever had united will separate; whatever had been divided will be conjoined

அருந்தின மலமாம், புனைந்தன அழுக்காம்;
உவப்பன வெறுப்பாம், வெறுப்பன உவப்பாம்;
என்றிவை யனைத்து முணர்ந்தனை, அன்றியும்
பிறந்தன பிறந்தன பிறவிக டோறும்
கொன்றனை யனைத்தும், அனைத்துநினைக் கொன்றன,

What had been eaten were all wastes;
What had been worn were all soiled;
What had been liked was disliked, what had been hated was loved
All were realized by all those born
Born through innumerous births
All annihilated by thee
And all killing thee

தின்றன யனைத்தும், அனைத்துநினைத் தின்றன;
பெற்றன யனைத்தும், அனைத்துநினைப் பெற்றன;
ஓம்பினை யனைத்தும், அனைத்துநினை யோம்பின;
செல்வத்துக் களித்தனை, தரித்திரத் தழுகினை;
சுவர்க்கத் திருந்தினை, நரகிற் கிடந்தனை,

All were eaten and all ate thee
All were born unto thee, all gave birth to thee
All were fed by thee and all fed thee
Lavished at wealth, toiled in penury
Relished at heaven and suffered in hell!

- திருப்பாடல் திரட்டு - பட்டினத்தார் அருளியது

The Kybalion, Hindu Philosophy and the Four Maha Vaakyas (Grand Statements)

The other day, I was searching for Aldous Huxley’s writings and chanced upon a century-old school of thought, propounded by Hermus Trismegistus. The philosopher’s preaching, compiled ‘by three initiates’ in a book titled, ‘The Kybalion’, if not for its name, the contents of which, was intriguing enough for many of its similarities with the Hindu philosophy. At least to the extent that I know of.

Rather than being founded on vast internal searching, arguments, experiments and debates with other sects of philosophies and evolving on those foundations over centuries, if not millennia, allowing for constructive mutation, ‘The Kybalion’ was simple, direct, did not show any proof of long evolutionary process and yet resembles Hindu philosophy in more than many ways.

Acknowledging mind-body dualism, belief, subject-object metaphysical relation, prevalence of truth and falsity are few of those. Though, I would not completely term Hindu philosophy a typcial folk psychology, ‘The Kybalion’, which stronly resembles Hindu philosophy, seems founded and to be thriving on it.

One good example of its folk psychological orientation is where it declares that the book and its wisdom would make their appearance in one's life at an appropriated time for the person to receive them. I was reminded of so many occasions in Indian Hindu lives where we were advised to cross-over a hurdle, a misfortune or a loss caused by inexperience and ill-fortitude, as the time was not yet right for us to receive them.

Thus, being a receiver of good wisdom and fortune, henceforth also is a factor of appropriate timing in one's life, widely believed karmic, the basis of Hindu philosophy.

Hindus often undertake committed (to God, of course, by way of prayers) pilgrimage to various temples in India, though not bound by the scriptures to do so. While plans would be afoot to reach a temple shrine, mostly preceded by 40 days’ structured life style, denouncing sex, meat, smoke, liquour, comforts (even soft beds, hot water and three meals – only two are allowed and not to forget the non-usage of footwear!) and daily congregational prayers in the evenings, few may not make it to the pilgrimage, owing to many unavoidable reasons.

“The time to make the pilgrimage and be THERE to receive His blessings has not yet come”, would be the consoling words given by elders.

Receiving good wisdom, good companionship and mental peace and satisfaction, usually are connected to an appropriate divine timing, usually out of bounds for human beings' control or manoeveuring.

Comparing Hindu Philosophical Components to The Kybalion

Samkhya, the oldest of many philosophical systems of Hinduism, is a dualistic philosophy between the soul and matter, as against the Kybalion, which advocates the dualism between mind and the body. Atman, the soul, is different from mind, by its characteristics which state that atman is the absolute reality which is all-pervasive, eternal, indivisible, attributeless and the pure consciousness. It is non-matter and is beyond intellect.

Hence Hindu philosophical tenets are founded on the acceptance of atman’s existence – Jeevaatma, which is indestructible, as against Kybalion’s defining the duality with, what its calls, ‘The principle of Mentality’, the first of its seven principles. ‘All that is’, is mentality, the Kybalion states.

Four Mahavakyas (Grand Statements) of Hinduism and the seven Principles of The Kybalion

Principle of Mentalism

“All that is Mind” is the principle of mentalism by Kybalion. This connotes that the power of one’s mind is limitless. If one could master his own mind, he is mastering himself and hence could master the universe.

Equivalently, ‘Looking into thyself’, is how Hindu philosophy states. Looking into oneself is the most excruciating task in the Hindu spirituality which has led to scores of yogis penancing collectively for thousands of years.

Many great Hindu treatises have been written on just that one statement. The great sage Ramana Maharishi from the south of India had stated that ‘while trying to look into oneself, appreciate that the mind keeps wavering from one point to the other. One should not try to hard to stop it at one point, initially though, since for an untrained mind, it is near impossible. Go with it, oscillate and improve and increase the insight into the mind. This is possible only with a rigorous practice’.

There is nothing called a part achievement in this process. Either it is there or not. The Mind is everything.

The manifestations of mind, Brahma in best characterised in the four Mahavakyas - the grand statements, as it is called in Sanskrit
Delving deeper into these four grand statements, presents one with the four missing pieces of one jigsaw puzzle, which when fitted and seen together, gives a compelling and fulfilling picture of soul, mind and consciousness.

The Four Mahavakyas

1. Prajnanam Brahma - "Consciousness is Brahman" (Aitareya Upanishad 3.3 of the Rig Veda)

2. Ayam Atma Brahma - "This Self (Atman) is Brahman" (Mandukya Upanishad 1.2 of the Atharva Veda)

3. Tat Tvam Asi - "Thou art That" (Chandogya Upanishad 6.8.7 of the Sama Veda)

4. Aham Brahmasmi - "I am Brahman" (Brhadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.10 of the Yajur Veda)

Pragyanam Brahma - "The self or the consciousness is Brahman" or "knowledge (Pragyan) is Brahman".

This mahavakya is called ‘Lakshana vakya’, meaning that the statement explains the characteristic of Brahman.

Think this in connection with Principle of Mentality which states mind is everything, the All. Pragyanam Brahma states that consciousness, which is the manifestation and chief characteristic of mind, is Brahman or everything.

Ayam Atma Brahma- "The self is Brahman".

This statement is termed ‘anubhav vakya’, meaning that the statement originates from the direct experience when seeker’s consciousness unites with Brahman.

Tatvamasi - "Thou art that ".

This statement is called ‘Updesha vakya’, meaning that it instructs a seeker on the nature of Brahman.

Aham Brahmasmi - "I am Brahman".

This statement is termed ‘prasthav vakya’, meaning that it comes as a final, suggestive statement after merging with the Brahman.

As per the Hindu Vedas, the four states of “I am ness” are:

1. I am aware that I exist but I cannot conceptualize it
2. I am aware that I exist in relationship with things, objects and beings
3. I am aware that I exist. I am also aware that I am existence itself – tatvamasi – state of atman
4. I am I am – state of no duality. I am limitless and absolute, state of indivisible, infinite, immeasurable, unknowable state of being.

The last mahavakya, ‘Aham Brahmasmi' – ‘I am I am’ is the supreme state of self realisation and is denoted, I would believe, by the principle of Mentality in The Kybalion. All other stages of realisation in the Hindu Philosophy are more exactly capturing one’s progress in looking unto oneself and achieving higher self realisation.

However, Principle of Mentalism sums up the stages and equates to ‘Aham Brahmasmi’.

Principle of Correspondence

The Kybalion’s second Principle of Correspondence states that there is always a correspondence between the laws of phenomena of the various "planes" of being and life.

‘As above, so below; as below, so above’

This principle also states that there is a harmony, agreement and correspondence between these planes, delineated as

• The Great Physical Plane
• The Great Mental Plane
• The Great Spiritual Plane

By the above statement, one can observe that there is literally no reference point between the correspondence planes. They are, ‘as above, so below; and, as below, so above’.

Principle of Vibration

The Kybalion’s third, Principle of Vibration, states that motion is manifested in everything in the Universe, that nothing rests, and everything moves, vibrates, and circles.

This principle explains that the differences between different manifestations of Matter, Energy, Mind, and even Spirit, are the result of only different "vibrations". The higher a person is on the achievement or self initiation scale, the higher the rate of vibration will be.

However, the interesting point the principle makes, which is worth noting is, that at the ultimate level, The All is purported to be at an infinite level of vibration, almost to the point of being at rest. There are said to be millions upon millions of varying degrees between the highest level, The All, which is at highest level of vibration (or otherwise at a state of rest), other objects of the lowest vibration and objects with intermediate vibrations, all forming the universe.

The Kybalion proposes that, ‘mental transmutation is described as the practical application of this principle. To change one's mental state is to change the degree of vibration. One may do this by an effort of Will, by means of deliberately "fixing the attention" upon a more desirable state’.

It is common in Hindu spiritual knowledge to denote a spiritually acclaimed and achieved person to posses ‘higher vibration of energy’. Going one step further, different temples – the abodes of divine energy, too, are categorised as possessing various degrees of vibration.

As higher the vibration one feels in the vicinity of an achieved ‘atma’, the closer the ‘atma’ is to God, it is stated in Hindu belief. At the highest level, many yogis, sadhus and gurus are worshipped as God. All the efforts which go into achieving higher vibration is to get closer to Godhood, either by one’s one will or by the divine design.

Principle of Polarity

The Kybalion’s fourth, The Principle of Polarity, embodies the idea that everything is dual, everything has two poles, and everything has its opposite. All manifested things have two sides, two aspects, or two poles.

The next interesting facet to this principle is that ‘everything "is" and "is not" at the same time, all truths are but half truths and every truth is half false, there are two sides to everything, opposites are identical in nature, yet different in degree, extremes meet, and all paradoxes may be reconciled.

Another extension of duality principle.

So, if every truth is half false, how to accept it (the truth)? Having known that false contains truth and vice versa, how to handle that knowledge? Which is true and which should be accepted?

If what is stated in The Kybalion is to be taken as the truth and nothing but truth, then as per its own principle, it must be containing half false. The Kybalion does not address this paradox for the reader and resolve the conflict.

Principle of Rhythm

The Principle of Rhythm, is The Kybalion’s next principle which embodies the idea that in everything there is manifested a measured motion, a to and fro, a flow and inflow, a swing backward and forward, a pendulum-like movement. This principle explains that there is rhythm between every pair of opposites, or poles, and is closely related to the Principle of Polarity. It can be seen that this Principle enables transition from one pole to the other, and not necessarily poles of extreme opposites.

I believe, in effect, this principle is a combination of the two previous principles, the principle of vibration and principle of polarity. As vibration constitutes a rhythm of movements from various degrees.

Another question arises: If truth is at one pole and false is at other diametrical end, how could one reach truth from falsehood, if his path is oscillating? By one’s own will, if one intends to increase his level of vibration, to achieve the level of higher mentality, how is he to travel within these poles?

Principle of Cause and Effect

The Principle of Cause and Effect explains that there is a cause for every effect, and an effect for every cause. It also states that there is no such thing as chance, that chance is merely a term indicating extant causes not recognized or perceived.

This principle seems an extension of the Hindu Karmic principles. ‘Whatever has been given unto you, has been done so, as you have earned it’, says Lord Krishna, in his treatise, Bhagavat Gita.

‘Nothing is given to you or you are not enduring anything which is not fit of and which you do not deserve of’, is what the Lord says.

Bhagavad Gita takes it one step further, being a practical tool for a Gruhasta (a person who is leading a familial life and yet is bound by, and could perform, the spiritual and righteous duties, as against a sage), by saying that one should ‘be the cause of an activity and need not long for the effect of his activity’, which shall be given unto him, rightfully.

Principle of Gender

The last and one of interesting Kybalion principle is Principle of Gender which states that gender is manifested in everything. The three initiates or the authors of The Kybalion state that this does not relate explicitly to the commonly understood notion of sex, but rather "... to beget; to procreate, to generate, to create, or to produce..." in general. Gender is manifested as the Masculine and Feminine principles, and manifests itself on all planes.

The principle does not refer to the physical gender of someone, nor does it suggest that someone of a certain physical gender necessarily has the same mental gender. Ideally, one wants to have a balanced mental gender.

The Masculine principle is always in the direction of giving out or expressing, and contents itself with the "Will" in its varied phases.

The Feminine principle is always in the direction of receiving impressions, and has a much more varied field of operation than the Masculine. The Feminine conducts the work of generating new thoughts, concepts, and ideas, including the work of the imagination.

It is said that there must be a balance in these two forces. Without the Feminine, the Masculine is apt to act without restraint, order, or reason, resulting in chaos. The Feminine alone, on the other hand, is apt to constantly reflect and fail to actually do anything, resulting in stagnation. With both the Masculine and Feminine working in conjunction, there is thoughtful action that breeds success which points out that both the Feminine and the Masculine fulfill each other and complement each other.

The satvik and Saivistic principles of Hinduism states that all animate and inanimate things in the universe or manifestations of Shiva (the male equivalent), the doer and Shakthi (the female equivalent), the energy. They are equal and opposite, complement each other and cannot survive without each other.

If Shakthi, the female quotient, is absent and taken out of the equation, nothing could be done as only she provides the prime force for any activity. Similarly, if Shiva was not to be there, mere energy, Shakthi, will not be able to execute anything.

All these musings rendered me one inference: the great religion of Indian subcontinent had inspired Hermus Trismegistus in formulating the seven principles of The Kybalion. I am sure much deeper insights are required by experts into the understanding of dual existence and achievement of higher vibration.

Sources: The Kybalion

The Philosophy of The Panchadasi by Swami Krishnananda

The River Within – III

I endured that day to live and tell you the story. As I say this, I consider myself a privileged one to talk about the life, its pleasures, its learning and its end…well, not exactly the end but almost as close as it could get to that.

The rivers within and outside the human mind are always hard to resist. They flow within you, originating from your perceptions, evolve as they practice their art through you and end up, as they usually do, into a sea of consequences mired with wobbling fresh streams trickling out. If controlling them is out of lesser martyrs’ reach, I must admit that I rank among the top of them.

On many occasions, I have been consumed by rivers, both in their metaphysical and philosophical senses. However, the story I am to narrate was an absolute physical experience with a ferocious river, camouflaged only by a calm exterior. The experience could be termed ‘physical’, since it could have ended my worldly physical existence, in its entirety.

Six of us left from Chennai to Trichy, the fourth biggest town in Tamil Nadu, situated on the banks of River Kaveri. She starts her winding journey from Kodagu Hills, (Mercara), in Karnataka and flows through Tamil Nadu before draining herself into Bay of Bengal. When she reaches Musiri, a village in Trichy district, where my friend’s relatives had invited us for a gathering, she attains a very massive yet very deceivingly calm look.

I never imagined that Kaveri could look so flowing, carrying unfathomable quantities of water in those swirling currents of hers. My first reaction was one that of astonishment. Earlier encounters with Kaveri were very mild, I should say, as mild as meekly crossing over her majestic perennial waters every year during the summer vacations, which my father used to send us on, from Chennai to Madurai.

I am a person who grew up with River Cooum in Chennai, to which I am indebted since it had carried my refusals as well with other millions’ and River Vaigai in Madurai which seldom had flow in it, with an annual farcical irony of government releasing a trickling stream (!) of water to facilitate the grand festival of Lord Kallalaghar entering the river in his golden horse chariot. With such inspiring credentials and perceptions, I could not appreciate myself for the view which I was certainly unprepared for.

The small village road laid only with mud and dirt (or was it laid?) led to the bank of the mighty river from my friend’s huge bungalow. The late summer evening sun was bright and parching every leaf and living thing daring to resist its dominance, nonchalantly ushered us to the river.

The approach of stone steps was pleasant, as always to an impending thrill blended with beauty and danger. The shadowing canopy of banyan trees carelessly littered the steps with grayed dry leaves. The calm flowing river surface, though adorned with minute wavelets, conveyed somehow the depth it concealed.

It was revelry all over; all the six guys screeched, danced and sang loudly as there were no discernible souls in vicinity. The river spread out a breeze onto the shore tipped with coolness. I loved the sight of the river, the breeze, shading trees and the lonely steps leading into the water…

Inviting yet surreptitious…

The river was waiting for us and we splashed into the river. Guys who could swim went farther and me with another friend played around in the steps with water at chest high level, feeling the slippery steps often at the feet and hence comfort and assurance. The water was surprisingly swift and cold.

Our wisdom was limited in not noticing the colour of the river which was muddy brown, caused by an overnight downpour upstream. In a sudden moment, vividly etched in my memory to this day and will be till I breathe my last, I was swept off my feet, either by the slippery step or by the force of the current.

It was an eternity which had no coordinates, sense of direction…

Water, tinged with sunlight percolating in all possible directions, seemed pulling me away and away. Eyes, which were seeing blue sky and green trees awhile ago, were seeing water everywhere. The pressure of the water drained out the hearing capacity. I would never know whether my friends, up and above the water, in safety under the blue skies, had ever noticed my absence or my struggle inside the water.

I went up to the surface or that is what I thought I did, but again I was dragged in. I was gasping under the water and at that point, I realized that I am going to die, at this river, which has flown from time immemorial, which had seen thousands of lives lost on its banks in wars, thousands drowning and thousands more losing their lives to its flooded fury. I will be one among them, uncounted, unsung and unheard in millennia to come…

When my senses started dimming out and lungs aching for air, I felt that I was being dragged by my friends to the shore. I do not remember a thing, lying face down on the bank, except for the violent gasping for breath. I could recall the unbearable pain my lungs were experiencing in expanding and contracting to normalize my breathing…

I believe it took atleast another 5 minutes for my breathing to regularize. None of us knew anything like CPR, which could have eased my pain and anxiety.

We left after a while, not talking to each other, consoling hands slung over my shoulders, walking an empty walk.

Before we could turn the last curve on the mud road which could have obscured the river from our view, I just turned and took a glance of the Kaveri. It was just flowing.

Lie? Or truth? (An inquisition into Presence)

Those which stand, walk, fly! – Are you
All living things a dream? – Or illusions thy?
All that is learnt, heard, considered! – Are you
All mere images? – How dense are thy fraught?

Blue sky, Tender sunlight, Forests – Are you
All mirages? – Or result of confused vision?
As sunken in the dreams are the bygone knowledges
Am I too a dream? – Or this world a lie too?

Time and perspective as factors of thoughts

Are their manifestations lies? –Their characteristics lies too?

As trees are born of seeds, hence are forests lie too?
Does it merit for us to think?

If what is seen could be hidden,
Is it not possible for the hidden to be seen?
Whatever seen is present; what is not is not
What is seen is Shakti – The Eternal!

(Translation of Mahaakavi Bharathi’s poem "Poiyo? Meiyo?")

The River Within- 2

In my travels, I had been to countries both east and west. I have seen rivers flowing from time immemorial through their vast lands and I have witnessed rivers being considered as flowing masses of water - useful for transportation, irrigation and to feed humanity with the blood of life, water. Yet, nowhere did I find, a river being reverred as a mother with innumerous wombs, giving birth to humanity on her banks, cradling civilisations and nurturing a spiritual and psychic umbilical cord of the human beings to the earth and nature, from where we sprang and from where the rivers themselves had sprung.

Perhaps, it is so since the west sees the rivers materialistically and if not for a river, their limited number of populace would have settled, irrigated, drank and transported through other means.

But life, procreation and death in my country are intertwined with the rivers and this relationship, the one with the river and her people, I must say, is difficult to classify as that of a leader-followers or mother-children, God-devotees or merely as that of a provider-receivers.


In one of my visits to Kerala during a glorious Vishu season, I went to Kaaladi, the birthplace of Jagathguru Adhi Shankarar. I reached a small sleepy town called Angaamali in the dusk and stayed there for the rest of the night. Travel weary still, I reached the Adhi Shankarar's temple, a big complex with a Shiva temple, early in the morning.

It was dawn. Breeze was soft, cold and wispering. I reached the banks of Periyaar, which literally translates in English to 'Big River'. As I had the first sight of the river, the vedic mantras being heard in a distance, blending with the shivering cold breeze, I just froze by the beauty and enormity of the river.

The river lay in front of me, a vast expanse of shallow waters flowing, as a mother would wait for her long lost son to come to her bosom. At that unmistakeable point of time I shed, involuntarily should I say, all my materialistic relations to the world, my education, my qualifications, my bonds to this world as a husband, a son, a father, a brother, my wealth, my inadequacies, my strengths and my weaknesses...

The masks I wore for the world fell apart and I became one with the engulfing river and her ambience.

What are we!

There stood I, in absolute Nirvana, in front of the sky now getting tinged with various hues of colours, the sprawling river below the sky and the wind...

I was alone in the bank, or so I imagined, and till today I thank her, the river and her creator for those moments which enveloped me and made me speechless.

I did not know for how long I stood there with folded hands in utter reverence and submission, watching the river slowly turn herself into gold. I saw the surface of the river being intricately laced with minute wavelets, all etched in gold. Wavelets after wavelates lapped at my feet sending fine shivers down my body.

I slowly entered the water and found to my surprise that the water was pleasantly warm in contrast to the coldness just over the surface. She, being the mother with surprises hidden and revealed only to enthuse her son, embraced me with her watery hands, thousands of them, pulled me to her ever warm, soft and kind bosom.


Fine sand below my feet stood still at the bed. The water was now waist deep and was not swift but flowing mellifluously, just enough for me to sit cross-legged inside the water. Water covered my chest and was flowing below my chin. I wanted to chant mantras or pray to my God and realised that they were all meaningless.

My mind became empty; nothingness. Absolute nothingness. No thoughts.

I sat there for an eternity allowing the river to go through me, rinse me and soothe me with her love, flowing for millions of years, symbolizing the life and the exuberance of its youthfulness. I felt one with her. I dared not open my eyes, in the fear of losing the oneness. As if I was afraid of her getting upset about me not caring for her love and not reciprocating her attention towards me by being one with her...

The time and river flowed around me; over me...


I woke up from the trance webbed around me by her and left for the shores, still feeling the warmth of her embrace. Sun has now come to lit the entire ambience and I could now witness her beauty and enormity.

I was thanking her, she the mother and provider, for considering me, a speck in the humanity with no permanance and a mortal who will leave behind nothing. I thanked her for accepting me as I was, comforting me and letting me go when I wanted to.

I left her shores without turning back, hearing the vedic mantras more clearer now...

The River Within- 1

I stand in front of the river...

On those dilapidated steps, which could have been built by a king at the height of his reign...

There are many voluminous trees all around me, equally old, may not be as old as the river herself, spreading their far reaching but not very impervious shade on the steps, on me and on part of the flowing river...

I move slowly towards the river, one step at a time, careful not to tread on the withering leaves. I reach the last step which just about touches the water; or was it the water that is touching the stone step?

Sitting down, with my feet in water and gaze fixed at the horizon where surface of the river blends with the sky, I slowly lose myself to the swirling current. Is it only on the surface that I see these swirls and swifts and lappings? Will they not be beneath?

As is the mystery of anything which has a living surface and a living sub-surface. As about a human. As about a sea. Where does the line start and end, the line which separates this river's gurgling surface and its calmer depth? Will the line dissolve itself sometimes and the depth erupts into the surface and the surface submerges to the abyss? Why should it do so, if it does? What happens when the depth's surreptitious activity suddenly supercedes the ever so evolving but predictable surface?

Questions poured over.

Just then, I saw an earthen pot, some bangles and threaded flowers floating remorsefully disentangled from the water and though weaving through it. I realised immediately what they were. They are the remnants of a religious ritual, a remembrance for the dead, performed by their beloved ones. To say to those who are dead and watching from above, that those who are left behind are caring indeed.

My string of thoughts, I could see, was getting me somehow twined together with what is happening in front of my eyes.

The river's behavioural differences through its sub-textual layers, as complicated as a human's, as mine, are pulling me towards the transience of life. The continual metamorphosis of forms, one changing into the other, evolving from the previous, taking all the constituents from its parent and yet resolving into a new being which is fully remnant of its own characteristics. Not one moment to be lost, it morphs into its off-spring, wholly colourful and reverberating with a new life.

All intricately innate. From what, I wonder, the first speck of life's impermanent beauty came into being; I also wonder, how does it quickly disappear itself into the cruelty loathing around us. And to know, or not to know, that from where these alternating extreme forms of life were contained, is wonderful and excruciating at the same time.

Do I control my inner thoughts? Or do they happen by themselves within me? Like a river's innards? Does a river control its movements of currents in it’s under belly? Do I have a demarcated line between my external presentations which are read by others, of course with my knowledge and intention, and my internal ramifications, which I hide and hence are oblivious to others?

More questions pour over...

Like a perennial river fed by the melting glaciers, my mind resonates continually, generating more and more queries about itself, in itself.